You’ve heard of The Five Love Languages, right? They are the keys to strengthening your romantic relationships. But what do you know about The Five Money Values? They are the keys to strengthening your relationship with money, and understanding what financially motivates those around you.
The Five Love Languages
The Five Love Languages from Gary Chapman presented the 5 primary ways humans like to give and receive love:
- Acts of Service: Actions to show appreciation and to make life easier
- Quality Time: Full presence and connection without distraction
- Physical Touch: Physical signs of affection
- Words of Affirmation: Verbal/written shows of affection and appreciation
- Receiving Gifts: Visual symbols of love
The purpose of the book is to highlight these differing languages and equip partners with this information as it can lead to better understanding yourself and your partner(s).
I am a believer in the love languages, and I also think we all have money love languages in the form of our money values. Our core money values have a direct impact on the way we think, feel, and behave with money.
I first got exposed to these values, as presented by Charles and Carol Pulvino, Ph.D, in my studies to become a financial professional. I found it quite eye-opening and in part, an explanation for how we relate to money.
The Five Core Money Values
Our money values influence the way we think, feel, and behave with money.
They are often shaped by our past experiences, culture, upbringing, media, and individual personalities.
Basically, they inform the way we ultimately end up interacting with money, and influence how we feel money should be interacted with.
But just like the five love languages, how you view your relationship with money is not necessarily how others do. Seek to understand your values, but also remember to allow space for the values of others.
Security: Not worrying about the future
Imagine waking up tomorrow and not having to wonder about how you will pay your rent/mortgage, keep food on the table, or afford your current quality of life.
Or, what if you knew you could lose your job and still be able to pay your bills without worry? That would feel amazing wouldn’t it?
This is security, and it’s a value worth believing in.
As humans, we all have a desire to feel secure. Just check out Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, and you’ll find economic security and stability as a foundational need.
This is a feeling of confidence in your financial future, and assurance that your needs will be met, and then some.
How do you reach it? Budgeting, saving, reducing your debt, and investing for the future.
- How to Create a Budget You Can Be Happy With
- Saving an Emergency Fund
- How to Pay Off Debt ASAP
- Debt, Save, or Invest-Where to Put Your Money
Status: Sitting in the lap of luxury
One of my dreams is to check out the premiere of a James Bond film at Royal Albert Hall in London.
And I don’t mean just buying a plane ticket to London and hoping to squeeze into the background crowd, I mean true red-carpet treatment. Ya, I want to walk in with Naomie Harris (Moneypenny) on my arm, and chat it up with James Bond himself. Well, whoever the current actor is.
It’s hard to see that happening right now, but it would be totally possible if I had the right amount of cash.
The value of status tugs at the part of us that wants to be in the “in” crowd. Maybe not necessarily getting that VIP treatment every day, but at least occasionally!
Access to VIP treatment isn’t the only form of desiring status, it also shows up in the items we buy.
Many BMWs are sold each year to people who want the look, the feel, and the status of a luxury vehicle. Same with high-end clothes, electronics, and other tangible items that we buy because it makes us look and feel like we got it.
- How to Avoid Going Broke From Living Your Best Life
- Think Before You Buy: 3 Steps to Take Before Purchasing
Power: Influencing change
What if you could pick up the phone, dial up your representative of congress, and freely speak your mind on the type of legislation you’d like to see?
What if that congress member took your advice and proposed legislation based on your idea?
That direct access and influence occurs when you have power.
Power is often thought of as a negative weapon used by Kings, Queens, Dictators, and slimy capitalists. But honestly, most people desire power on some level. Even if that level is to influence the world in a positive way like by expanding healthcare, feeding the needy, or the classic desire of achieving world peace.
Do some people desire power for unsavory reasons? Absolutely.
But don’t get caught up into thinking that’s the only reason why people may desire power.
Would you turn down the opportunity to make a change at a large scale? I sure wouldn’t, but I’ve also been called a slimy capitalist, so there’s that.
Love: The desire to help others
I once asked my Facebook friends what they would do with $5 million in cash (after taxes).
An overwhelming number of people expressed a desire to help others. Food banks, schools, addressing homelessness, aiding single mothers, and various other initiatives aimed at helping others.
It is love that drives many. It is also love that causes some people to get taken advantage of.
If you have a family member or friend that always seems to come to you for money, you know what I mean. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve met that struggle with financially setting boundaries with their loved ones.
If love is your motive, I truly love that!
Money is a tool that can be used to make so much positive change. Accumulate it, so you can make that change.
Autonomy: This is freedom
To me, this is the objective of accumulating money: freedom.
I don’t care about having the hottest car on the block (mine is 10 years old), or having the “flyest” clothes (I’m in a basic t-shirt). I simply like feeling free to do what I want, when I want.
I’ll never forget the time in 2017 I almost resigned from my career with Uncle Sam.
My organization got a new team lead that frustrated me so much over a seven-month period that I was ready to resign from my position.
I set up a meeting with my administrative supervisor, marched into her office, and said “I am requesting a transfer. If we can’t make that happen, I am financially prepared to resign”.
As you can imagine, my supervisor, who was 20 years older than me and nearing retirement, was quite taken aback.
Here I was, a 31-year-old professional basically saying that if need be, I can afford to quit immediately.
I had prepared for that moment. The night before the meeting, I calculated how many years I could live off my current assets without working. Conservatively, 10 years.
That meant working wasn’t a “necessity” for me, I had options!
I wasn’t handcuffed to my job, I could afford to walk.
That’s freedom, and that’s what building wealth affords you.
Personally, the desire for freedom is why I continue to strive to strengthen my financial health. I don’t like feeling constrained and I like living life on my terms, you dig?
The Five Love Languages highlight the primary ways we prefer to express and receive love.
But we don’t just fit in one box; we desire all of them if even just a tiny bit.
As it turns out, we also desire all five money core values on some level. The key is to figure out what your primary money value is, and why.
Think about why it’s important to you, the origin of it, and how you can live that value with balance.
Also, remember that we all have different primary money values. As you learn yours, learn to also respect the values of others.
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